just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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