as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize