I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize