Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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