i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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