After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize