I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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