we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
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on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
do nipples grow back?
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