the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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