so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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