oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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