Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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