very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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