A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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