Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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