this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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