just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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