"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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