So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize