my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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