i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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