I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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