need another drink. this is the easiest way
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize