butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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