Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize