I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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