We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she told me i tasted like america
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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