he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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