She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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