There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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