how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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