he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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