It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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