Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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