real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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