just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We named our party play list daddy issues
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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