Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize