Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize