just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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