I just saw a hot homeless man
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize