why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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