We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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