I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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