He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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