he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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