MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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