Just fell off a train. Bad.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
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Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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