I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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