dude i'm inner monologue high
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
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"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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