There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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