Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize