All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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