just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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